Tonight I am reminded of a song I mentioned a while ago. The chorus goes,

Don't stop the madness 

Don't stop the chaos

Don't stop the pain surrounding me

Don't be afraid, Lord, to break my heart

Just bring me down to my knees

These words are such a good reminder of my need for God.  

It's funny how you can approach things from all kinds of different angles. Before, I approached this song with such enthusiasm because before I heard it I was literally on my knees seeking God. After hearing the songs I remember just thanking him for everything. 
We gladly take the blessing but most of the time we don't want the hardships. I think Job sets a fine example of how we should be in times of trouble. Man! I can't imagine going through everything he went through! But despite it all he blessed the Lord. He went to his knees before God. 

the Lord gives and the lord takes away...blessed be the name of the Lord.

I want to recognize the goodness of the Lord all the time. I hate to say it, but sometimes I need those hard times. Sometimes that is what it takes to get me on my knees seeking God rather than depending on myself. So this time I am not on my knees because of feeling defeated by the madness and chaos...actually it is almost the opposite. I am on my knees seeking the Lord and humbling myself before Him. I need more humility.  I need him all day everyday. I am so very glad his grace never runs out on me!
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

It is not okay for me to be singing and proclaiming truth in Jesus' name and not bringing those words to life.

I think about this topic a lot.

About the fact that I am inadequate to be the one to lead people in worship.

I haven't totally become okay with it. I don't feel like I'm the one for the job.

Sometimes I feel like Moses when he said to the Lord "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?”.

Who am I that I should be the worship leader.

Later Moses says,“Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.”Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”

But God I'm a background type person. I don't do well speaking.---

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

It is my honor to be leading people in worship to the one true God! The moment I take my eyes off of him though is when I start sinking. He told me in my weakness he would be strong so I have absolutely nothing to worry about. My job is to obey.

Matt Redman recently posted, Unstoppable worshippers are bold evangelists, lifting up the name of Jesus everywhere they get a chance. Their offerings of worship are just as vibrant outside the walls of the church as they are inside. —from the book, The Unquenchable Worshipper

I can honestly say with sadness that I'm not living out my faith boldly. I keep to myself when I should be reaching out. We are the body of Christ. Jesus gives us a clear picture of the life we should be living. Lord help me not to hold back, but fully and completely live for you! I don't want worship to become mundane. I want it to be true.  

Here comes the rain again...

There's a flood watch in effect for Western Washington today!!

I have started writing this and then deleted it a few times now.  I suppose because I am not feeling so profound in thought - but feel like there is something I want to express about the strong feelings that seem to accompany a change of seasons.  Fall is truly my favorite time of year - and yet - conversely - it is tinged with a certain melancholy.  Somehow, the season seems to make me focus more inward and I am not always comfortable with what I find there.

In the summer days of my life - oh I am really getting profound and metaphoric now - I need to focus all the more on knowing my Savior and serving him.  It is easy in those days to instead just be immersed in the sunshine and pleasure of life outside of my walk with the Lord.  Instead I should be cultivating and growing spiritually to prepare for a harvest that will leave my storehouses full when the rain and storms set in. My joy cannot be ultimately founded in summer sunshine, the crisp mornings and colors of Fall or any other external factors.  These seasons and times come and go.  A heart that is focused on the Lord will know joy and stability throughout any season of the year or of life.

Lord, I look to you for all of my needs as I know you alone are sufficient.  I pray you will fill my heart with your joy and sustain me through this day.  I want to be able to give myself away to others instead of getting caught up in my own head and focusing on me.  Thank you for the sun.  Thank you for the rain. Help me to not be constantly up and down and blown by the wind - but set my feet solidly on the rock and give me the strength to stand.
-mike






...metaphoric??