Embrace the process

Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, Psalm 119:2

Think about it...

We are supposed to love The Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. To seek him with our whole heart.

It's much easier said than done.

I mess up so much. If it wasn't for Gods forgiveness, and grace, I don't know where I'd be. I would feel horrible all the time. And I should feel horrible about sin. But because of what Jesus did on the cross there IS forgiveness and second chances! 

Don't linger in your wrongdoings! LET IT GO! GET RIGHT WITH GOD! 

We will never love The Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength if we're stuck in our past. We've got to give it to God and seek him with all we've got. 

A lot of times Gods will for our life isn't obvious to us. (No wonder with all the distractions.) Knowing Gods will is soooo important. We need to LOOK, and SEARCH. It's our desire...our passion that leads to the "Big Reveal"

In the meantime, as we search, we need to serve people, tell them about the love of Christ, and trust God. Even while we're waiting we need to be running this race with perseverance!

And once we know his will we need to DO it. 

Faithfulness pays off. (Being loyal, constant, and steadfast)

Embrace the struggle, and the process, of finding your personal call. God told us he would be with us. So I'm trusting him. I'm reaching out. I'm super excited to see where he leads!!!

Passion for your name.

Let me start off by apologizing for any errors in my writing...I'm too tired to catch everything :) okay carry on...

Doesn't it feel amazing to be loved by God? I know most of us "know" he loves us, but I mean when we can feel it. When our heart feels full because of his love.

This love gives me a passion for God! 

But overtime that same love that stirred my heart so much so that it was overflowing, can become a thing of the past...and that passion can fade.

The bible reminds us in 2 Timothy to fan into flame the gift of God. 

A lot of times I describe my passion as a fire in my heart, and you can picture that fire growing dimmer until you're left with the glowing embers. That's when we need to "fan into flame" and that fire will burn bright once again.

So then the question is how?

I believe it's by prayer. It's by trusting God. It's by fellowship. It's by remembering God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 

The song consuming fire, comes to my mind as I write this...it's pretty short so here it is,

There must be more than this,

O breath of God come breathe within,

There must be more than this,

Spirit of God we wait for You.

Fill us anew we pray,

Fill us anew we pray.

Consuming fire fan into flame,

A passion for Your Name,

Spirit of God fall in this place,

Lord have Your way,

Lord have Your way with us,

Come like a rushing wind,

Clothe us with power from on high,

Now set the captives free,

Leave us abandoned to Your praise.

Lord let Your glory fall,

Lord let Your glory fall.

Stir it up in our hearts Lord,

Stir it up in our hearts Lord,

Stir it up in our hearts Lord,

A passion for Your Name.

I don't want to let this passion go. If you've  ever had that fire in your heart you know it makes you desire for more. And we can't have that same passion apart from God. 

Many times I've made the mistake of thinking,

well if I prayed more or read the bible more I would have that passion again

But that's a lie.

We've got to surrender and say Lord I don't feel you. That fire in my heart has died. Stir it up in my heart once again! And He will! 

I think a big part of rekindling the flame is being transparent with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one struggling but I'm not...and there is power in prayer and power in numbers, so share your thoughts and prayers with the brothers and sisters God has put in your life. Being transparent puts accountability in your life, support, correction...it does a lot! So I would encourage you to share your prayers with others. 

Trust me I do not like telling people about my struggles and sometimes I don't even like talking about the awesome stuff happening...I'm just weird! I know shocker cause that's exactly what I do on my blog. I  have no clue who all reads this...I'm not sure if I would even want to know :)

Anyways if you need a prayer partner feel free to leave a comment. I'll be praying for you whether you do or don't :) 

Thank you Lord for putting this passion in my heart! Thank you for encouraging me through your word and music, my family, and friends! I feel so blessed! I pray for each and every person who reads this blog Lord...even if I've only reached 1's of 3's ;) Lord fan into flame the fire that you've put in their hearts! Take our hand and guide us in your steps. May our eyes be focused on you now and forever. 

In your precious name! Amen!

Don't stop.

Man! It sure seems like the closer I grow to God, the more troubles come my way.

I guess we are guaranteed that though. The devils always at work. But so is God! I find that whenever bad things happen, hard times come, or everything is ridiculously busy, I'm on my knees a lot in  prayer. 

I heard a song the other day...it's pretty much exactly what I needed! The chorus goes,

Don't stop the madness 

Don't stop the chaos

Don't stop the pain surrounding me

Don't be afraid, Lord, to break my heart

Just bring me down to my knees

Nothing slips through Gods fingers. Hard times come, but his word says in Romans 8:37

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

No matter what comes at us, through Jesus, we have the power to overcome! We are MORE than conquerors! 

Yeah, don't get me wrong, it would be amazing if everything always went right...but then there would be no need for a savior. Honestly, if The Lord made everything go absolutely wonderful in my life I'm not sure that I would be on my knees every day asking for his grace. I wouldn't need him. 

So I say, 

Don't stop the madness

Don't stop the chaos

Don't stop the pain inside of me

Do whatever it takes, Lord, to give me your heart

And bring me down to my knees

Every struggle thrown at me allows me to grow. As well as the non-chaotic times :)

I'm thankful for everything God has allowed me to go through, and everything he has pulled me through. And all the amazing things he has planned for my life, and yours, as we follow in His steps. 

God is good. What? All the time.______ 

Oh! And Lord...DON'T STOP WITH YOUR LOVE. :)

And what makes all this even better is that we aren't in this struggle alone!

Love.

It was David's one year anniversary with us today. Which is exciting and heart breaking to know he could be gone soon. 

There's a whole bunch I could complain about. I specialize in complaining. But I'll stop there :)

I was sharing some songs with Dani that were inspiring me. One is called All of me. I told her the story behind the song, then I started singing it. She said it reminded her of David. The chorus goes,

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

Cause you're worth every fallen tear

You're worth facing any fears

You're gonna know all my love

Even if its not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me is where I'll start

It was an eye opener. I've said so many times "I think I love David too much" but mom was right when she said you can't love someone too much. Yes my heart may break when he leaves. But while he is here I'm gonna give him all of me. He is worth the tears I cry and everything else this family has gone through for him. I love him more than words can express. And even though it hurts I want to be obedient to Gods call.

I guess I say these things to you to remind you...DON'T BE AFRAID TO LOVE

Mark 12:30-31 says,

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” 

We've got to be people of love. The world will know us by our love. I don't know about you, but I yearn for my Heavenly Father! I want to be more like him! The bible says he is love. 

Thank you Lord for loving me so unconditionally! Show me how to love like you have loved me! Show me how to love the unlovable. Lord I want to be a person of love. I want to know you! You're my hearts desire! Lord take control and guide me in your steps. 

Amen

Focus!

Focus! Focus!
 When my mom reads this I know what she'll be thinking...It was my technique when I helped potty train David. :)

But this time I'm saying it for myself.

I get stressed out and worried so easily! I love that God has surrounded me with people that remind me He has a plan for my life! An awesome one! I honestly don't need to worry at all.

Like I've said before, I like to plan ahead, but I need to learn to live day by day. I need to learn to wake up EVERY morning and say "God USE me today." I want to find peace in that, not more stress.

When I plan things I tend to hesitate on them. Sometimes it's as simple as just planning on seeing how someones doing. So many times I just end up forgetting or thinking, No, I'm sure their fine.

It's when I decide to "live for today" that I get to see AMAZING things! There are days that I just know I need to reach out and see how so and so is doing, and when I just do it I find out it was a much needed thing. It makes people feel cherished. It shows them that I don't just talk-the-talk but I walk-the-walk.

There are a few people that will randomly write me on facebook or call and see how I'm doing, or let me know they appreciate me. It makes me feel good! It makes me feel loved.

So I'm not going to say, "I'll work on it."

I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to take the time right now to say Lord the day is almost done but use me.  And tomorrow morning I'll do the same. With God's help I won't hesitate. And He promises peace...

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
James 14:27

Lord here I am having to get refocused...again. Lord you know my worries and stresses, take them away. I've got so much to learn...Give me peace that passes all understanding! Thank you for reaching out to me! For reminding me your there. For being patient with me. 

"And all you ask of me is to give you my everything I give you my everything"

Trust without borders

Tomorrow morning I leave to spend a week in Warden, Wa on a mission trip.

Last year I decided to go on the day they were leaving...my sister had dropped out last minute and I felt The Lord telling me to go.  This year I originally was going out of guilt. Out of wanting to please others. 

I'm at a point in my walk with God where I know I've grown but I know there's so much more growing that needs to be done. 

I feel The Lord saying, You want to grow? Here's your answer

This is a growing experience.

This is an...I'm tired and stressed and I don't want to step out my comfort zone but because I want to grow I'll go. experience :)

I want to grow. 

I want to follow in His steps.

It's what I committed to do...and what this blog is supposed to be about.

So now I'm doing this not to please others, but to honor God and bring him glory. I'm leading worship there to honor him and bring him glory. 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders 

Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith would be made stronger in the  presence of my savior 

When I first heard this song I was beyond blessed by it. The words described exactly what I was feeling and where I was, with God. So I pray those words over my life, and over this next week. 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders 

Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith would be made stronger in the  presence of my savior 

I want to trust you without borders God! Take me there, as I follow in your steps, and into the streets of Warden proclaiming the good news! Bless every single person going on this trip. May their eyes be opened! In Jesus' name... Would you agree with me? Amen!